XVI - The Journey Ahead (You Haven't Heard)

Months back, around late September, me and James said “yes” to long term roles within Envision Atlanta as Site Hosts. We grew in excitement for the roles and the opportunity to remain in Clarkston but were given pause by the Lord in late January. We didn’t know why at the time but by His abundant grace and kindness, He’s granted us clarity now. 

My residency contract technically ends in July of this year, which meant the “what’s next?” conversations have only become more relevant. Me and James were excited about the prospects of working alongside one another in ministry in the context of Clarkston and saw how our giftings aligned well with the work we would do. In order to be long term workers at Envision Atlanta, we needed to undergo a licensing process through the Christian and Missionary Alliance (C&MA), the denomination Envision Atlanta serves under. The process would have made us equivocal to international workers in the C&MA. We had our first interview to begin that process, which was nothing but wonderful, yet we were mysteriously left feeling “unsettled” quickly after finishing. This was the beginning of the pause by which the Lord would guide us and grant us permission to eventually say “no” to the long term positions with Envision Atlanta.

Over the many weeks ahead, we would pray (quite generally, I must admit) and seek out answers in all the wrong places. Immensely gracious conversations with Ron, our site coordinator, would lead me and James to realize what is and is not primary to the decision at hand. While me and James felt confused in conversations about missiology and church polity, the Lord simply was guiding us to listen and gain clarity over our life callings. I always wince at the mention of “calling,” because it's been so complicated and misused throughout my life that I’ve never felt confident in sharing with anyone what it means, because I really don’t even know for myself. I don’t believe that’s a very uncommon response to the word “calling”. What I do know to be true, though, is that the Lord knew me before he formed me in my womb (Jeremiah 1:5), has given me a unique membership and role within the body of Christ (Romans 12:4-5), and He knows all the plans of my future and waits for me to seek Him (Jeremiah 29:11-13). I didn’t have to have an eloquent definition of calling to seek Him who created me and my calling.

The week to follow would be met with “stones of remembrance” in my life that surfaced to my memory. Pillars of moments in my life where the Lord worked in abundance, and I knew meant something more than I could imagine right then, flooded me. All of them bore the strong and simple theme of “telling others about Jesus.” Nothing more.   

After the Lord convicted me of my vague prayers, I sat outside on a sunny day and prayed specifically for an answer concerning Envision Atlanta. During this time, James was aware that much of the decision rested on me and was incredibly supportive and prayerful throughout. While he was at work that day, the Lord would convict me of fears and unsurrender and lead me to His Word, where He would provide great clarity. In Joshua He said, “…you know in your heart and soul…,” which struck me with complete clarity and a sense of weakness. And in Judges He said, “‘Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.’ And the Lord said to him, ‘But I will be with you, and you shall…,’” which left me with the choice of obedience by the strength of His presence with me. I knew we were to say “no” at this point with open hands for what’s to come, and He would be with us through it all.

Our conversations with Ron and everyone else at Envision Atlanta were unforgettable. To be met with such grace, excitement, and admonishment from the Lord through our Envision Atlanta family was nothing we expected yet such a gift. This decision and this season of life I continue to surrender will be a “stone of remembrance” for us as we wait by faith (some days, not all) for the journey ahead.

Our hands are open to what plans the Lord has for us in our future, though we have little direction for now, and we know He will provide. We look forward to sharing with you how He does just that.

Blessings,

Bailey